The Magician
by Alien925
Summary: A little kids birthday party and Mulder spells trouble.


Title: The Magician  
Catorgory: Humor  
Author:Alien925  
Disclamer: The X-Files and everything else including the invention of the televison, telphone, yellow pages and doorbell belong to Chris Carter and 1013 porductions. Do not try and steel any of these thing off them, because then they become very violent and threaten to shoot you. Believe me.. I know... Oh yeah.. I was just joking back there. CC and 1013 only own the XF 7 its characters!  
Classification - VH  
Summary: Who plays the magician then?  
Spoilers: None.  
  
THE MAGICIAN  
  
Scully sat on her sofa, head in hands. She turned over the next page of the Yellow Pages   
and shifted her leg to try and regain movement from under the heavy book.  
Picking up her beer she took another swig and oushed a strand of red hair behind her ear.  
The phone rand and she picked it up.  
" Hello?"  
" Hey Dana. Its me."  
" Hi Charlie. What time are you going to get here?" Scully spoke to her brother.   
"Umm.. well, We'll drop Leo at yours and then make out way to Moms I think.. so.. we'll   
be there at about..." Scully could just imagine her organised brother studing his watch, " 5'o'clock after we get everything sorted here. If thats Ok with you."  
" Sure. See ya then Charlie." Charlie had left his job at the naval base a couple of years ago and now lived in Georgetown with his wife and son. Scully was glad of this as it now meant she could see her brother frequently.   
She was, somewhat glad that Bill Jr, her other brother was still working with the navy.  
The phone disconnected and Scully resumed her task of flipping through the yellow pages.  
"Scullliiieeeee.... Scullllliiieeeeee." Scully walked towards her door and let the grown equivalent to a whining three year old into her apartment.   
Mulder shedded his jacket, popped open a bag of sunflower seeds, shut the Yellow Pages to make room on the sofa and sat down.  
" Mulder! I'd just got that page! I needed that telephone number!"  
" Ever heard of a bookmark Scully?" was his answer even though Scully had not meant for it to be a retorical question. She picked up the Yellow Pages and thought about hurling at at Mulder's head.  
She put the cause of three hours wasted time down on the kitchen table and looked over at Mulder.  
She had to admitt that he did look right at home here. Nowadays he'd come over to her apartment every Saturday morning and stay until late a night, sometimes occuping her couch until Sunday.  
Sitting down next to him on the sofa, she invaded his sunflower seed bag with her small hand and pulled out a hanful of seeds.  
" Whats on?" she regared the TV where Tom and Jerry were chasing each other in and out of mouseholes and attemping to kill each other.  
" Don't tell me you've never seen Tom and Jerry, Scully."  
" Of course. You actually want to watch this?"  
" Yeah, I love this show."  
Scully shrugged and curled up on the sofa and proceeded to watch Saturday morning cartoons with Mulder.  
Six movies later Scully stirred out of her sleep and looked around for Mulder.  
" Mulder?" she called.  
" Right here." Mulder emerged from the bathroom, wearing nothing but one of her, short pink bathtowels round his waist.  
" I took a shower. Spilt iced tead all over my shirt. Hope you don't mind."  
" About the shirt or shower? No, I don't mind. My house is your house buddy."  
There was a knock on Scully door and she absent midedly looked at Mulder's watch which was lying discarded on the coffee table.  
"Shit!" she mumbled and walked towards the door.  
She opened it,  
" Charlie! Christine! Hi!" she welcome her younger brother and his wife into her apartment. Mulder took one look at Charlie and scurried into Scully's bedroom before Charlie could see him. He had had too may bad encounters with Scully's other brother.  
" Hey Leo." Scully welcomed her nephew. He'd been born five years ago. She'd been on a case with Mulder at the time and hadn't been there for his birth. Just like her other nephew Matthew, Leo was special to her.  
" We've gotta rush Dana." Charlie explained, " We're due at Mom's house soon. I'll just dump these in the bedroom and we'll get going. Thanks again for looking after him this weekend. I hope the party goes OK tommorow."  
" It'll go great, I've just got to get some last things sorted. We'll go there early in the morning and get started. Right Leo?" she looked around for the infant.  
" Mom!!" a childs voice sounded from Scully's bedroom. " There's a man in here!"   
Charlie and his wife erupted into fits of giggles.   
"We'll go now. See you Sunday." Christine said between laughs to a crimson Scully. Charlie dropped Leo's night things and they made their way out of the door.  
" Bye Mulder!" Charlie yelled before dissapearing down the corridor.  
" Mulder! You can come out now."   
Mulder emerged from the bedroom holding onto his towel for dear life. Leo walked out of the bedroom behind Mulder, making random grabbs for the towel.  
On seeing his Aunt, Leo rushed into her arms leaving Mulder feeling a lot more secure.  
" You'd better get dressed." Scully said, trying to fight a grin.   
Moments later a dressed Mulder emerged from Scully's bedroom and stood watching Scully attempt to get her nephew to eat tofu.  
" C'mon Leo, you've gotta eat it. Its nice. Real healty." She moved a knife and fork around in the discusting mess. " Look, I've made you a dinosaur."  
Leo stared to cry.  
"Its not that bad." Scully regarded what she though was a fairly good attempt at a tofu dinosaur.  
" Just give the kid a burger." Mulder walked into the kitchen a broad grin gracing his features.  
" I don't have any. You ate them all last weekend."  
" Oh."  
Mulder sat down at the table and watched the child cry.  
" You never told me you were throwing a party tommorrow."  
" Its for Leo. He's six. Charlie and Christine decided I might like to do it. He normally spends his birthday over at Moms house, but this year, hes made friends in kindergarden so Christine's invited them over. Charlie and Christine have decided to take refuge at Mom's house. Their excuse was 'Dana, you're really good with kids.'" Scully glanced at the screaming five, soon to be six, year old and sighed. " I dunno where the got that idea from." she said, her face falling.  
" Mulder picked up Leo and carried him to the sofa where he switched on the TV. The kid was drawn to the cartoon network as a bug is to a lamp. Unbelievable.  
Going back to the kitchen he saw Scully had cheered up some.  
" You're the one thats great with kid," she grinned, "even if they do grab your towel!"  
Mulder swatted her.  
"What have you planned for Leo's party?" he said whilst rummaging round in the fridge for somethng non- tofu-ish  
" A magician."  
"Great. When's he comming over to Charlie and Christine's?"  
" He's not."  
" Huh?"  
" You shut the Yellow Pages on the page with his number in. I didn't have time to find another."  
" What about all that time you were asleep on my lap, doing nothing this afternoon."  
"That doesn't count. You were a distraction and I forgot."  
Mulder smiled. n  
"I could be your magician if you like. The kids are only five or six. They wont want to see me chop my head off or anything."  
Scully looked at him.  
" You. A magician? Ok then. But only 'cause its too late now to find anyone else."  
"Yes!" Mulder hissed like a child and puched the air with his fist.  
XxX  
  
Scully sighed and watched as Mulder pulled the third green alien from the black hat.  
" Do you believe now kids?" he asked in big booming voise.  
"NO!!!" thirty little kids yelled back at him.  
" Ok then, he said for the fourth time, I'll do it again, and this time, you WILL believe." Scully wondered how many aliens he had under the hat. Apparently none. She and everyone else could see Mulder's hand moving under the cloth. A little kid started to laugh. Twenty nine followed suit.  
She walked into the kitchen in search of heavy painkillers.  
Two hours, three foodfights and five attemps at blowing the candles out later, Scully and Mulder sat in the midlle of a ruined living room half unconcious." I don't care what anyone says. Kids are not the best thing to happen to you." Mulder said and rubbed his shin where a huge purple bruise was starting to form. Scully had to agree this in this one circumstance.  
" Uncle Fox!" Leo called his newly adopted uncle. "Come play with my fire truck with me.!"   
"Not now Leo. I'm kinda tierd." Mulder mumbled from the depths of Scully's shoulder."  
" Uncle Fox!"  
"WHAT!"  
"Are you and Aunt Dana gonna make a baby?"  
"We'll see Leo." Scully answered for Mulder and started the long job of restoring Charlie and Christine's house back to normal.. or at least a close as she could get it.  
  
XxX  
  
Thanks Dana! Thanks Mulder! Charlie stood at his front door watching as Mulder hobbled down the drive, supported by Scully.  
"Yeah. Bye Charlie." Scully mumbled.  
Charlie decided to come down the drive and bid them goodbuye from their car. Scully revved the engine. Much as she liked her brother, his house now held too many bad memories for her. She guessed it'd take her at least three weeks to get the pizza cheese out of the hair.  
" Thanks again," Charlie said as Mulder rolled down his window. Mulder just nodded and winced in pain. " Maybe you guys could do it next year too."  
Scully sped away from the driveway faster than you could say, 'Cancerman Smokes'.  
  
END  
Oh, by the way... I'm sorry if you actually like tofu.   
  
Please mail me hate mail or anything you want at: alien925@isback.com 


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